Another "translation": the current Bush-war-inspecttions game.
TEACHER: So far, George, you're failing the test.
BUSH: What do you mean? I'm pointing out the facts.
TEACHER: You mean the empty warheads? You're going to kill a million people over empty warheads?
BUSH: I need a few clues.
TEACHER: When you take a test, you have to fill in the answers yourself.
BUSH: Yeah, but you could help me. My family is paying for this school.
TEACHER: Uh...yes. You could get the CIA to invent some facts for you.
BUSH: We're trying that, but so far all I get is this stuff about weapons inspectors who won't leave the country to talk to us.
TEACHER: Can't you plant some germs there?
BUSH: We and the Germans shipped them the germs in the first place.
TEACHER: How about sending in a special ops team to gas some people and blame it on Saddam?
BUSH: Too obvious. This is a hard test. I need at least a B.
TEACHER: Just keep calling Saddam a trickster.
BUSH: That's what I AM doing. And my poll numbers keep going down.
TEACHER: Say that Iraq is a very big country. It's easy to hide things.
BUSH: Yeah, I'm doing that too.
TEACHER: I'm trying to help you.
BUSH: You're holding back something. I need that B real bad.
TEACHER: I'm trying to get you to do this yourself.
BUSH: I need help!
TEACHER: That's cheating.
BUSH: SO WHAT ?!
TEACHER: You just misspelled that. It's a capital S.
BUSH: Help me out here.
TEACHER: A US plane flies over the country and it's shot down.
BUSH: I thought of that. But everybody would say we staged it.
TEACHER: Your time is almost up.
BUSH: Okay...just let me think. How about I attack?
TEACHER: What do you mean?
BUSH: I attack and...then I say I wouldn't have attacked unless I had a good reason.
TEACHER: You want a B for that?
BUSH: Sure. I attack, and then I say that proves I had a reason.
TEACHER: I don't know, George.
BUSH: Yes. It'll work. Just give me the B now and tell everyone I did real well.
TEACHER: No, you have to do well and then I give you the B.
BUSH: Give me the B.
TEACHER: Think about your education initiative, George.
BUSH: You give me the B, I attack, and then I win.
TEACHER: That's backwards.
BUSH: Don't call me backwards.
TEACHER: I didn't mean it that way.
BUSH: Where's Cheney?
TEACHER: San Diego.
BUSH: What's he doing in San Diego?
TEACHER: Raiders-Tampa Bay.
BUSH: I'm going to attack. Saddam is evil.
TEACHER: There are lots of evil people.
BUSH: They don't all have oil.
TEACHER: I hope you didn't write that down.
BUSH: Why can't I just say we want the oil?
TEACHER: We've been all through that before.
BUSH: This is a hard test. I'm going to attack.
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