SAY IT, THINK IT, BUY IT



Here are some of the key phrases you see in connection with the ever-expanding medical cartel:

NEEDED CARE.

NO STIGMA ATTACHED.

LIVING WITH AIDS.

LOWER PRICES.

HUMANE CARE.

ADEQUATE PROTECTION AGAINST BACTERIA.

POSSIBLE BREAKTHROUGH.

INTERVENTION.

CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.

COMPULSORY INSURANCE.

EPIDEMIC CONTROL.

MAKING CARE AVAILABLE.

GRIEF COUNSELING.

ABILITY TO CONSENT TO CARE.

ACCURATE DIAGNOSIS.

EARLY INTERVENTION.

EARLY DIAGNOSIS.

BEFORE ITS TOO LATE.

FAST-TRACK APPROVAL.

CONTAINMENT.

DISABLED.

VICTIMS OF.

SUFFERING FROM.

DANGEROUS ALTERNATIVE REMEDIES.

FEW IF ANY SIDE EFFECTS.

ALLEVIATE.

THE PROMISE OF.

PRECISELY TARGETED.

BEST AVAILABLE KNOWLEDGE.

MAKE AVAILABLE.

MONITORING THE PATIENT.

GENERICS.

MANDATORY.

QUARANTINE.

ALL CHILDREN SHOULD.

BY THE TIME THEY ARE.

OFF-LABEL PRESCRIBING.

SIMILAR TO PLACEBO.

ASK YOUR DOCTOR.

IFIS RIGHT FOR YOU.

OUR PRESENT KNOWLEDGE.

CELEBRITY SPOKESPERSON FOR.

RESEARCHERS SAID.

VERSUS OLDER DRUGS.

NEW AND PROMISING.

TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW.

ONE DAY WELL LOOK BACK AND.

GOVERNMENT FUNDED.

ENORMOUS POTENTIAL.

OFFERED TO DEVELOPING COUNTRIES.

TO ERADICATE.

These are the water lilies that float on the surface. But the reality of the phrases, of course, is: MORE DRUGS.

And these quick-hitting telegrams are quite different from the language of street drugs.

They are more considered.

They appear to signal a much higher level of education.

They impart the feeling of knowledge. They are more refined.

Armed with such little coded bits of doublespeak, one can make anything sound good.

Which, of course, is the whole idea.

CAPPED HIM becomes PATENT DISPUTE.

NICKEL BAG becomes MINIMUM DOSE.

MY STREET becomes PATENT PROTECTION.

MADE HIM BUY becomes LEGALLY INTERVENED.

STEPPED ON becomes OCCASIONALLY CONTAMINATED WITH.

KILLED becomes WARNED ABOUT THE DANGERS OF SO-CALLED ALTERNATIVE TREATMENTS.

GOLDEN TRIANGLE becomes RESEARCH TRIANGLE.

HONK KONG BANKS become ELI LILLY.

BACK-UP becomes FDA/DOJ.

DRUG LAWYER becomes US PROSECUTOR.

MEDELLIN CARTEL becomes BAYER.

DEA becomes WITHDRAWN FROM THE MARKET.

I NEED SOME RIGHT NOW becomes 24-HOUR PHARMACY.

NASTY S**T becomes SSRI.

FIVE YEAR-OLD CHILDREN becomes FIVE-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN.

SPEED CRASH becomes STUDY ON DIET DRUGS.

SPEED CRASH becomes ADVERSE EFFECTS OF RITALIN DEBATED AT CONFERENCE.

BIOTECH START-UP becomes DESIGNER DRUG.

DUDE TURNED INTO A VEGETABLE becomes FURTHER EXPLORATION OF NEUROTRANSMITTER INTERACTION.

DRIVE-BY becomes SCHOOL SHOOTING.

DUDE WENT NUTS becomes DISGRUNTLED EX-POSTAL WORKER.

DRUG KINGPIN becomes CEO.

BUSTED becomes INSTITUTIONALIZED FOR TREATMENT.

OD becomes ADVERSE VACCINE REACTION.

PAID HIM OFF WITH DRUGS becomes CIA.

GHETTO WHERE I LEARNED becomes HARVARD.

PABLO becomes SIR HARRY.

Sometimes acquiring a glint of truth just means moving the point of view over a few inches.

Rough figures: Yearly death toll from all illegal drugs in the US: 6500.

Death toll from pharmaceutical drugs: 100,000.

Sent in by D.N.





  



01-24-03



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