Texans, If Kerry Should Win
Let's Secede

Please note that Texas is the only state with a legal right to secede from the Union (please refer to the Texas-American Annexation Treaty of 1848).

We Texans love y'all, but we'll have to take action if John Kerry should win this presidential election, over George W. Bush. And we'll miss you all, too.

Texas has given all those complainers plenty of time to get used to the results. After seeing the whiners along the campaign route, the folks from Texas are considering taking matters into our own hands.

Here's our solution:

#1--John Kerry will just have to be contented with being the President of the United States--all 49 of them.

#2--We can secede from the union and have George W. Bush as the President of the Republic of Texas.

So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?

1. NASA is just south of Houston, Texas. We will control the space industry.

2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States.

3. Defense industry? We have over 65% of it. The expression ''Don't mess with Texas'' will take on a whole new meaning.

4. Oil? We can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. Yankee states? Sorry about that.

5. Natural Gas? Again, we have all we need and it's too bad about those northern states. John Kerry will figure a way to keep them warm...

6. Computer Industry? We currently lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications, with small concerns like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor, Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Semiconductor, Delphi, Nortel, Alcatel, etc. The list goes on and on.

7. Health Centers? We have the largest research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers, and the top trauma units in the world, plus other large health planning centers.

8. We have enough colleges to keep us going with UT Texas, A&M, Texas Tech, Rice, SMU, University of Houston, Abilene Christian, Baylor, UNT, Texas Women's University. Anyway, ivy grows better in the South.

9. We have a ready supply of workers. We can just open the border when we need some more.

10. We have control of the paper industry, plastics, insurance, etc.

11. In case of foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, and the Texas Air National Guard. We don't have an army but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an army in 24 hours if we need it. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a couple of Texas Rangers.

12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, several types of grain, fruit, and vegetables. And let's not forget the seafood from the Gulf. And everybody down here knows how to cook them, so that they taste good. Don't need to import any food.

This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn't a thing out there that we need and don't have.

Now to the rest of the United States under a President Kerry: Since you won't have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Kerry will be able to drive around in his 9-miles-per-gallon SUV. The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.

You won't have any TV as the space center in Houston will cut off foreign communications. You won't have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Kerry has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas.

Signed: The People of Texas

Ya'll Have a nice day!

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