The Greatest Story Never Told
by Brian Godzilla Salmi

"It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
- Mark Twain

Published by Terminal City, Vancouver, Canada March 9, 2000

Anyone who has gobbled down enough mind-expanding drugs to come to the common epiphany that it is entirely feasible everything is an Illusion will feel comfortable in the weird, weird, weird world of David Icke. Sci-fi fanatics and conspiracy junkies will likewise be non-plussed but the rest of you are going to have a lot of trouble swallowing the motherload of mind-bending allegations of this mid 40s Englishman who is rightfully billed as the world's most controversial author and speaker.

Icke has concluded that the world is controlled by an extraterrestrial race of shape-shifting lizards who live below the surface of the planet and manipulate our thoughts and actions from the 4th dimension. Hey... whoa, whoa, whoa. Where ya goin'? Slow down. I think you better come back and read that last part again, partner.

Icke is the author of The Biggest Secret which, combined with his 1995 tome ... and the truth shall set you free, is without a doubt, the most thorough conspiracy theory of all time. It covers everything from Alien abductions to Zoological societies and in between Icke dishes the dirt on the British Monarchy, Charles Darwin, Adolph Hitler, Karl Marx, Martin Luther, Pierre Trudeau and Leonardo diVinci (amongst literally hundreds of others, going right back to the beginnings of human society) and shows how they are all connected to an age-old, global conspiracy that will, one day soon, if the reptilians continue to have their way with us, see the entire human race willingly being micro-chipped and completely under the control of a fascist world government

You would think that a journalist would drool over the opportunity to do a story on a guy who has done some pretty exhaustive research and come to the conclusion that damn near everything that we have been taught about the history of human civilization has been a total crock of shit - and when I first came across Icke, I did. But after studying what the guy has to say for the past three months it is now up to me to take on the impossibly frustrating task of deciding what to leave out of this piece.

Do I omit the charge that Brian Mulroney is a Satanic paedophile? Apparently not. Do I pass on the chance to tell you that the Rothschilds bankrolled the Nazis? Anybody care to hear that the Queen is a full-blooded reptile and was responsible for the assassination of Princess Di (who, apparently, referred to the Windsors as "the lizards" and often said of her in-laws, "they're not human")?

These are obviously rhetorical questions because deciding what to leave out is my responsibility. Your only responsibility in all of this is to step inside and let your mind be fucked with.

In the beginning...

Some of Icke's theories regarding the lizards are based on the translations of a collection of tens of thousands of clay tablets discovered in 1850 in Iraq. They are referred to as the Sumerians Tablets, named after the people who wrote them. Zecharia Sitchin has studied the tablets for more than 30 years and says they tell of a extraterrestrial race, known as the Annunaki, that came to Earth to mine gold in Africa. But when the Anunnaki working class (who were responsible for all the shit-work) rebelled, the elite decided it was time to play God and create a slave race. "The tablets describe how the genes of the Anunnaki and those of the native humans were combined in a test tube to create the 'updated' human capable of doing the tasks the Anunnaki required."

Icke believes that the Anunnaki are reptilians and may have come to Earth from Mars. But it may be that they originate from another planet in the Draco constellation. Sitchin says the Anunnaki are not reptilian and came from a planet called Nibiru. Got that? No? Hmmm. Okay, since this article is about Icke we're going to go with his story. All right?

So, Anunnaki - reptiles - Draco - Mars - Earth. Then they mix their lizard genes with those of our empty-headed cavemen forefathers and all of a sudden we have an explanation for a mystery that has confounded anthologists since they started trying to piece together the story of human evolution. According to Icke this genetic great leap forward may well be -- ta-dah! -- the missing link!

There was a sudden upgrade of the human physical form around 200,000 years ago. Suddenly the previous physical form known as homo erectus became homo sapiens sapiens. From the start the new homo sapiens sapiens had the ability to speak a complex language and the size of the human brain increased massively. Yet the biologist Thomas Huxley said that major changes like this can take tens of millions of years.

Ya like that? Huh? Yeah? Good, cause you're really gonna like this: it is also the basis for the story of Adam and Eve.

The Sumerian Tablets speak of E.DIN. This was a centre for their gods, the Anunnaki... and Genesis speaks of the Garden of Eden. Genesis and Exodus were written by the Hebrew priestly class, the Levites, after they were taken to Babylon ... which was in the former lands of Sumer... therefore the Levites knew of the Sumerian stories and accounts and... it was from these records overwhelmingly, that the Levites compiled Genesis and Exodus.

Beauty school dropouts

You'd have to be a truly depraved pervert with a Rasputinian sexual appetite to make a squinting, one-eyed, desperate, last minute play for one of these reptiles at last call. The elite reptiles are said to be seven to twelve feet tall, have wings and conical horns midway between the brow and the top of the skull. They are, of course, covered in scales and those on their backs are much larger than the rest. They have three fingers and an opposable thumb, three toes with a fourth toward the side of their ankles and their claws are short and blunt. Some have large, cat-like eyes which glow red, others have black eyes and still others have white eyes with flame coloured, vertical pupils. Their mouths look more like slits. Some have tails but others, alas, must go without this incredibly sexy appendage.

They have a taste for blood, particularly human, and a fondness for menstrual blood (mmm, yummy!). Over the past couple years there have been reports from Puerto Rico, Mexico, Florida and the Pacific Northwest of strange beasts attacking domestic livestock and sucking their blood. The creatures are referred to as the Chupacabra and they fit the reptilian description.

The reptiles are the real vampires of legend. The most famous vampire is Dracula and the name Dracula comes from the lizard shaped constellation Draco, which is where the reptilians may originate from. Ancient cultures and modern-day Satanists are famous for their bloody, ritualistic sacrifices to their gods. And if a bunch of lizards dropped out of the sky and started building pyramids, what do you think they would be to the comparatively backward race who occupy the planet? Gods! That's what they'd be. Huh? Huh? Yeah!

In reverence to the gods we build monuments. Ever wonder why the world is awash in statues of gargoyles and dragons? Why folk tales are filled with them? Why they appear on the seals and crests of corporations and blue blood families? Where do you think these families come from? Well, according to Icke, they are the descendants of the most recent human/reptile interbreeding programme (there have been several) some 7000 years ago. The reptilians keep very careful records of their spawn as these are the "people" who are manipulated into positions of power to carry out the agenda. "All this is the real reason for the obsession with blood and the interbreeding of the 'blue blood' families and their offshoots."

The blood thirst of the reptiles is not merely a matter of taste. It is, in fact... wait a minute, wait a minute... it is, according to Icke, necessary for them to drink human blood in order to exist on this dimension. For those of you who are shaking your heads and asking, "What the fuck is this 4th dimension bullshit?" Icke describes it thus:

As open minded scientists are now confirming, Creation consists of an infinite number of frequencies or dimensions of life sharing the same space in the same way that radio and television frequencies do. At the moment you are tuned into the three dimensional world... so that is what you perceive to be your reality. But, as with radio and television, all the other stations are broadcasting at the same time and if you move your radio dial or change the TV channel you can connect with them. When you do this, the station or channel you were tuned to does not disappear, but you can't hear it or see it anymore because you are no longer on it's wavelength. So it is with human consciousness. Some people (everyone if truth be told) can tune their consciousness to other wavelengths. We call this psychic power.

No way? Let's call in someone you may have heard of for an opinion:

"Do you remember how electrical currents and 'unseen waves' were laughed at? The knowledge about man is still in its infancy."

Know who said that? Albert Einstein.

This is a bit of a digression, and completely gratuitous, but I've always loved this quote, so here are a few more words from the man with the bad hair cut:

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the former."

Okay... you ready for the shape-shifting stuff?

Shape-shifting is the ability to use your mind to project another physical image for people to see. Everything is energy vibrating at different speeds, so if you use your mind to re-vibrate that energy to a different resonance, you can appear in any form you choose.

That, by the way, was Icke, not Einstein.

That's our story - and we're sticking to it

It was, according to Icke, the reptile-humans that established ancient Babylon on the banks of the Euphrates River. And it was there that they formed secret schools and societies which imparted their knowledge on to initiates, creating what Icke calls the Babylonian Brotherhood. One of the first orders of business for the Brotherhood was to assert control over humans by creating religions to enslave them through fear. "It was in Babylon... that the foundation beliefs... of today's world religions were established to control and rule the people." And he means all the world's major religions.

Icke opines that Jesus never existed. Significant chunks of The New Testament were written by the Roman family Piso (members of the Babylonian Brotherhood) and their agents. The story of Jesus and those of many other religious superstars are too similar to be coincidental:

Horus was the "Son of God" in ancient Egypt and provided a blueprint for the later Jesus:

Jesus was the Light of the World. Horus was the Light of the World. Jesus said he was the way, the truth and the life. Horus said he was the truth, the life. Jesus was born in Bethlehem, the 'house of bread'. Horus was born in Annu, 'the place of bread'. Jesus was the Good Shepherd. Horus was the Good Shepherd. Seven fishers board a boat with Jesus. Seven men board a boat with Horus. Jesus was the lamb. Horus was the lamb. Jesus is identified with a cross. Horus is identified with a cross. Jesus was baptised at 30. Horus was baptised at 30. Jesus was the child of a virgin, Mary. Horus was the child of a virgin, Isis. The birth of Jesus was marked by a star. The birth of Horus was marked by a star. Jesus was the child teacher in the temple. Horus was the child teacher in the temple. Jesus had twelve disciples. Horus had twelve followers. Jesus was the Morning Star. Horus was the Morning Star. Jesus was the Christ. Horus was the Krst. Jesus was tempted on a mountain by Satan. Horus was tempted on a mountain by Set.

Icke lists more than three dozen other saviour gods who died so our sins could be forgiven including Khrishna, Buddha, Salivahana, Osiris and Odin. He then goes on to point out more than a dozen ways that the Jesus story is identical to the story of the Eastern God Virishna who, it's claimed, was born 1200 years before the righteous dude from Nazareth.

Coincidence? Yeah, sure, and my name is Satan.

Six hundred years later the Brotherhood invented Islam (for some reason I don't like the idea of having my name attached to an article that says that) and for more than 1000 years Christians and Muslims criss-crossed Europe, the Middle East, North Africa and parts of Asia battling it out for land and souls. You wouldn't have been able to suck up even half the blood that was spilled if you had a nuclear powered Zamboni the size of Saskatchewan, running 24/7.

What, pray tell, is the point of all this?

Simple, the reptilians feed off of negative energy. Just as importantly, however, is the desire of the scaly ones to keep the secret knowledge that they possess out of the hands of the masses. "At the upper levels of this network they know the true power of the Sun, magnetics and the mind; the effect of planets on human behaviour; how to manipulate time, consciousness, energy, the weather and so much more."

Some of that knowledge has been passed on to humans by other extraterrestrials who played a key role in the development of the fabled lost continent of Atlantis and the Babylonian Brotherhood desperately wants to keep that information out of circulation. This is why anyone who showed an understanding of esoteric knowledge such as telepathy and astrology was hunted down, tortured and killed with such urgency throughout the Inquisition. Everywhere they went on the planet the puppets of the Brotherhood-created religions laid waste to anyone who dabbled in the mystical arts. The message was clear: believe what we tell you or die.

The fallen angel of the BBC

Prior to becoming the heavyweight champ of conspiracy theories Icke was making a pretty good chunk of cash a soccer commentator for the BBC. A former professional goalie, Icke retired from the game early because of arthritis and was seemingly on easy street for the rest of his life as a very popular talking head. Then he threw it all away.

First he got involved with the Green Party and was their spokesman until he concluded that they were, "just another political party." After leaving the Greens Icke embarked on a course that now sees him ceaselessly travelling, researching and talking to anyone who will listen.

In March 1990 Icke was told of his destiny by a medium who channelled a message from another world. Icke recalls the incident:

I was seeing her for the third time when I felt something like a spider's web across my face. Fifteen seconds later the psychic jumped back and said, "Oh my God! I'm seeing a figure and I'm being told to tell you this. There is a shadow across the earth which has to be lifted. There is a story which has to be told. You will be world famous. You will face enormous opposition but they (the spirits who were communicating through the medium) will always be there to protect you. You will write five books in three years. You will go out on the world stage and tell this story. One man can not change the world but one man can communicate a message that will change the world. There will be no need for arduous searching - all you have to do is follow the clues. This was all organized a long time ago."

When Icke started to talk about global warming, organic farming and solar energy he lost a lot of fans but when he broke from the Greens and started talking about spirits communicating to him the country turned on him with the viciousness of high school jocks outing a fag. He was ridiculed and relentlessly mocked from the outer Hebrides to the white cliffs of Dover. "I couldn't walk down a street in England for 2 or 3 years without people laughing at me and you only had to mention my name on a comedy program and people would double over with laughter," Icke recalls.

The social ostricization of David Icke was quick, thorough and absolutely merciless. When the British tabloid press smell blood they get absolutely giddy and when they decide to go for your throat you're fucked. The British tabs rode David Icke like a $10 toothless hooker at a frat party as their readers laughed and cheered. The ordeal nearly broke his back but as the old saying goes - whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger - and Icke learned what may have been the most important lesson in his life during this period.

"Even when you're in a minority of one the truth is still the truth," Icke says, quoting Ghandi. "And in a very real way the ridicule of the tabloid press set me free. You see I used to fear what other people thought about me, now I don't give a fuck," he says so matter of factly that you know he really doesn't.

No, not the fat guys in the funny little cars... well, kind of

If you've met one god - you've met them all

Icke posits that the majority of the major events in the Western world - from the creation of banks to the age of mercantilism, from the Reformation to the age of Enlightenment, from the American War of Independence to WW II - have all been guided by the scaly hands of the Babylonian Brotherhood. Today, "the reptilian network is a vast and often unfathomable web of interconnecting secret societies, banks, businesses, political parties, security agencies, media owners and so on."

It will come as no surprise to anyone with even a rudimentary interest in conspiracy theories that the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry is one of the principle players in all of this. According to a remarkable new book by David Ovason titled The Secret Zodiacs of Washington DC, America's capitol was designed according to the astrological information the Masons possess. Icke states that 50 of the 56 signatories of the American Declaration of Independence were Masons (that number will be disputed but there is general agreement that most were). The fuckers are everywhere - and everywhere they are in positions of power. Whatever it takes to bring the Brotherhood closer to it's ultimate goal of complete world domination its Freemason puppets can be counted on to do the dirty deed. Start a war, crash a currency, destroy the environment - as Malcolm X said, "by any means necessary." And the dirtiest deed of all is coming down the pipe, brothers and sisters.

It is an understatement to say that George Bush will never be remembered for his oratory skills but one day in 1990 he managed to string together three words which have since been posted on the walls of every gun shop from Miami to Seattle - New World Order.

The central premise of Icke's New World Order is the formation of a global government with a central bank, currency and army. The world government will be formed from three organizations: The European Union, which is already being formed from the EC; The American Union, which will evolve out of NAFTA; and The Pacific Union, which will evolve out of APEC. Not that anyone ever listens to them but, nationalists have been sounding alarm bells over our loss of sovereignty to international free trade agreements for years.

Europe (where the Brotherhood has it's deepest roots) is also leading the move towards a single currency with the Euro which made its introduction last year and recently we have heard the first suggestions of Canada taking on the U.S. dollar as our own currency. Eventually cash will be done away with and if you haven't noticed the concerted effort being made to eliminate cash you should probably give yourself a pat on the back for getting this far in to the story. Rub your eyes and give your lips a long rest before you do any permanent damage.

Microchips are already being used on pets and thousands of owners have shelled out to assure that Fluffy and Muffy never get lost again. Many pet owners have been so happy with the results they have enquired if the service is available for their kids and senile parents (anyone noticed that I've stopped laughing?).

The real power in politics is always behind the scenes and Icke identifies six heavy hitting organizations that are calling the shots: the Trilateral Commission, the Council on Foreign Relations, the U.N, the Club of Rome and the Royal Institute of International Affairs and the Bilderberg Group. Haven't heard of most of them? You're not alone.

Call him a mental case or a charlatan
but don't call him a guru

Icke has so many whacked out theories that I could have easily done nothing more than rap off a long, long list of them and throw in two words at the end - nut bar. In order to show you how easy it is to dismiss the guy as a mental case I'm going to randomly open The Biggest Secret three times:

pages 340 -341
In the China Lake Naval Weapons Centre in California thousands of children are kept in cages, tortured and sacrificed by people in black hooded robes.

pages 230 - 231
The Babylonian Brotherhood orchestrated the stock market crash of 1929 in order to bring their agents Franklin Delano Roosevelt and Adolph Hitler to power and set the stage for WW II.

pages 34 - 35
Alex Christopher is called by her frantic neighbours at 2:30 in the morning. She gets there just in time to see the woman passing out and sliding down the wall with her eyeballs rolling. The man has a palm print on his side made by a creature with ten inch long fingers. Alex returns home where she is confronted by an alien.

If a journalist is asked to do a piece on Icke they could use any combination of thousands of such passages to prove that Icke is a Grade A fruit loop and almost all will. It is interesting to note that Art Bell, the Larry King of super-natural radio, who has a listenership of several million, will not have Icke back on his show. Bell has earned a reputation as someone who will put anybody on the air, no matter how surreal or far-fetched their ideas and, in his own words, "let the people decide." In recent weeks people have been calling in to ask Bell why he is ducking Icke and his inability to produce a satisfactory answer, combined with his statement to Icke's publisher "the Illuminati (Brotherhood) is a bunch of crap," has lead to wide-spread speculation that he is little more than a disinformation stooge. Beautiful! Everybody's in on it!

Everybody's in on it

If you actually bother to read what Icke writes and listen to what he's saying you'll quickly realize that it is the most fascinating story you've ever come across. And he makes it all sound plausible. He has pooled together the theories of hundreds of researchers and authors but he does seem to have a propensity to accept anything as evidence. Perhaps he is being guided to this information but many will say that it is a prime example of a man whose research is little more than a self-fulfilling prophecy, the end product of which is a bunch of demented rambling from a paranoid delusional.

Others will insist that he is a Charlatan who has cooked up this whole elaborate (really elaborate) story as some kind of intellectual con to fleece a huge middle class market which has plenty of money and too much time on their hands? If so, I say good for him - anyone who can put together this kind of a con and keep a straight face deserves to milk it for a fortune. But I don't think he's running a class hustle for one simple reason; shape-shifting lizards from the 4th dimension I can buy - what I simply can not fathom, what I will never, ever, under any circumstances be convinced of, is that a jock could be so intelligent and imaginative.

Those of you who do decide pick up his books and explore further should be warned: it's a tough slog. Icke combines astrology, numerology, psychology, genealogy, symbology, theology, geology, politics, economics, metaphysics and, as odd as this is going to sound, common sense, to string this one together. Trying to follow the plot is a process that would give a tree a migraine but, as impossible as it all seems, by the time you wrap your head around it you have to wonder, not how much of it is bullshit, but how much of it is he right about.

It's not often that I let someone have the last word but I'll give it up this one time for the man with the mission:

I'm not some guru sitting cross-legged on a mountain. Iım trying to point out what's going on and then people can make a choice about what they do with it.

Hang on. That ending sucks. Let me leave you with something a little more juicy.

There is a chapter in The Biggest Secret that is devoted to the story of Cathy O'Brien who claims to be a mind controlled sex slave of the Illuminati who escaped to tell her story. She tells of how her and her daughter were forced by George Bush to service Bill Clinton. The daughter was going down on Clinton, Clinton was going down on the mother and Bush was videotaping the whole thing. After Clinton was done he looked up at Bush and said, "You didn't need to do that. I'm with you anyway. My position does not need to be compromised." Later, Bush asks Clinton about Chelsea's availability, offering to, "open her up." Clinton responds that he would have to discuss it with Hillary.

The same mother/daughter team, "were raped by Brian Mulroney, who is addicted to sex with mind controlled slaves. Mind controlled mothers and young daughters were, and are, regularly transported to Niagara Falls just over the Canadian border for Mulroney to rape them."

There. Now do you believe?

Terminal City

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